Cold Feet

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a living contradiction.

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Detox to Retox theme by Marg

(Source: weheartit.com)

somedays, i will implode on myself. i will quietly shut down, no tears, no shouts, no alarms. i will be too cold, too distant—untouchable and unreachable. don’t panic. somedays, i will implode on myself. it won’t be your fault. let me recover, softly and slowly. hold me when i remember how to feel again.

somedays, i will be reckless. i will be wild and unstoppable. i will jump off cliffs and taste like cigarettes and smell like booze. i will forget you and i will forget me and i will smile. i will smile, until it hurts and i will cry because it won’t be enough. somedays, i will be reckless. it won’t be your fault. wait until i am sober before you berate me, but know that it won’t be the last time.

somedays, i will explode on you. suddenly, suddenly and all at once, i will yell and rage and hate. i will tear you apart with my words and i will not stop, even when you cry. know that i am sorry. it won’t be your fault. i could never hate you. all those words are meant for me, not you. let me remind you that you are too good for me. somedays, i will explode on you. let me apologize.

somedays, i will be gentle. i will take you to museums and coffee shops and the world will feel bright and whole. i will make eggs and toast and dance in the kitchen with you. i will tell you about my favorite memories and you will think this is, this is how it is meant to be. it will end. it won’t be your fault. somedays, i will be gentle. remember that i am not always whole, remember the good comes with the bad.

most days, i will be hard to love. it won’t be your fault. i will not blame you when you leave.

just-useless-things (via wnq-writers)

(Source: wnq-writers.com)

Anonymous asked: I'm not sure if you've done before, but if you could give Scorpios some advice it would be great.

violentwavesofemotion-deactivat:

I’m the worst at tough love when it comes to Scorpios because Scorpio is my favourite sign, however I’m going to try. So, for my Scorpios: 

a) I know you. I love you. I recognize you in my blood. Your emotional responses are the epitome of magic; you understand. Wholly, deeply, with every fiber of your being you just seem to understand. It’s something that you carry in your hearts that always touches me; something unique and ferocious and true. It’s in your aura, it’s in your eyes, it’s in an innate shared understanding that simply seems to flow from a soul directly to another soul. Keep it true. Keep it honest. Keep being tuned into your own emotions and filtering them through the beauty of your minds because what you are and what you do with your hearts is amazingly valuable and sometimes it reminds me what it means to be a human being.

b) Scorpios are great in the sense that they persevere, they do not merely endure. This is due to them being able to see through everything and this is due to them being able to effectively synchronize their intellect to their instincts and thus encompass what is pure and whole in the entirety of its range. They despise what is obvious and superficial because they do not trust what is obvious and superficial. They trust the depths because they were made for the depths. They know how to dig and decode the layers between intricate sensations and emotions and they also know how to manifest their strength and channell it into universal coherence and higher existential notions. I love how you guys cannot help being yourselves even if you tried, I love how your paradoxes scream and how mutely powerful your presentiments can be. You have an eye for darkness and you have an eye for light, you know how to invest your heart and soul to what is effortless and natural without ever giving up or making any favors. There is an unapologetic quality to everything that you do and when you do cherish it then all your actions seem to translate into a total breakthrough; such beautiful dark extremity runs in your veins. I love how you’re drawn to pain, how you feel it too well without succumbing to it. You are so hauntingly brave when you are acknowledging what feels like hell on earth and later come to transform it into a gorgeous life lesson infiltrated through what feels most personal and accurate to you.

c) I’d advise my Scorpios to continue being their empathetically glorious selves and always striving for totality of feeling. I’d also advise them to occasionally pause and stop and step out of themselves; feeling consumingly and utterly about stuff can be to say the least exhausting; there’s exhaustion in total observation and there’s exhaustion in suspecting most of the time that the world is out to get you. Not everything is a constant battle all the time and your “Me VS the World” mindset does not make room for you to think clearly. If you cannot force clarity upon your own emotions, you should pause and be quitely reflective. Withdraw from the world all you want and recuperate in your own time but occasionally, please, please remember that certain people want to grow with you and they’d be delighted if only you took a break from self-destruction and allowed them to be there for you. You yourselves know better than anyone who to let in and when to let them in but you do have to sometimes get rid of extra paranoia and self-indulgence. Your intuition is sharpened enough. What you need is to learn how to not be on the alert all the time and when you are healed within yourselves you also need how to learn and relearn how to attach your essence to not merely an overflow of emotion but to distinct emotional processes that involve personal relations. You are certainly the masters of your solitude but when it gets lonely out there, you need to know how to reach out. Being withdrawn from the world only brings more and more withdrawal sometimes. Whether you consider yourself to function withing an “I’m healing” phase or not, you ought to remember that there’s some special few people who are willing to heal with you, too. Do not shut them out all the time. And do not shut out all the time your own chance at human healthy and completely valid interaction. People can be awful, awful, awful in many ways and often it’s quite very understandable that you do not need them. And it’s true. You do not need them. But when you DESIRE to see someone, you should take the initiative and reach out to whom you desire. Evidence of trust is always necessary for you to let loose and feel comfortable but when you best trust yourselves is when you definitively and specifically let that special person in without even knowing that you are at the giving position at the time. You know how to give and you know how to give unconditionally. Welcome it more, suspect it less, free it from within so that you can embody it better and better. You can be strikingly demanding but you are demanding because you ARE indeed great and you have a right to be demanding. Scorpios aren’t demanding because they are spoilt, they are demanding because they care all too deeply but they indeed have a growing fear of showing it. They are fearlessly demanding toward themselves and they get hurt when their expectations do not meet their own standards. I’d advise you to step out of those standards and trust your own fluidity. I’d advise you to secure your own self-worth through enabling it to expand. I’d advise you to not hold back because of contagious fear. Some things are sublimely simple, not everything is based in labyrinthian self-created patterns. Your own fear is the real constant battle but it’s engrossing fear that involves self-doubt and it’s eating you up alive. You can be so humble and vulnerable through your being open and attentive to the world; places, surroundings, your own imagination. You were born with conviction and you were born with the ability to pin your faith and your love to what is achingly lovely. Put your heart back together and let it do the talking. Do not just stand and watch yourself hurting. Trust in laughter, spontaneity, beauty of sensation, people who make you want to share and cultivate your heart and people who make you feel inclined to give. this. a chance.🖤 

momfricker:

lmaonade:

best tumblr glitch of all timeĀ 

image

nathansummers:

Gold